


The Shape of Happiness

by dolgelo



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: But also quite lovely, F/M, R18 elements, Takes place after Arena, The author did not know of Ultimax back then because it was yet to be released
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 03:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11349399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolgelo/pseuds/dolgelo
Summary: The answer was a ‘no’ because the true one was ‘yes’. Eyes moved wobbly. Mitsuru’s crimson hair waved with the unhurried movement.“It has been my fault… Mitsuru.”He seemed to be taking all the blame. How many other times would he have just rushed to conclusions like those?"I bet you don’t know a thing…"





	The Shape of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [しあわせのかたち](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/303468) by まな. 



> A translation of a semi-popular fanfic about this couple, that never ceases to give me lots of feelings. Although the presence of mature themes, it has all been so metaphorically described it was a bit difficult to have it here the same way, the way the author intended. But I am happy with the result.  
> Of course, during the translation, many original terms might have been translated in a different way by accident, and I am sorry for errors you might find, or phrases constructed a bit differently. Enjoy!

Shortly trimmed white-colored hair, a band-aid on the area of skin above the left eye, scruffy beard and a crimson cape that easily catches people’s eyes. In his current time off from university, that was what he wore when coming back from his intensive physical training.  
There were plenty of things she would have liked to ask him, but the first thing she was concerned about was the color of the cloak he was wearing, or if he had that same look when still being at the airport too. Why had he chosen such a brilliant color, instead of various other possibilities?

 

_Fighting games… I never liked them…_

   

It was exclusively juniors that did play those games on the portable consoles, Akihiko had the chance to live and work all that on the real road.

   

_… Kinda._

  

Each country she visited couldn’t be considered a safe place. In some, you would have gotten in trouble just by merely looking in the eyes the wrong people. And when staying there, it was a rule to appear as normal and less noticeable as possible. But what he wore now was a bright red cape.

 

_\-- It’s more like martial art training, than a simple one._

 

Mitsuru tilted her head.  
It seemed like Mitsuru’s look was not worthy of praises as well. Kurosawa too, who had met the girl earlier the day, seemed to have had a moment of hesitation at her sight. About her dress, the girl too had no intentions of speaking up…

  
     “Why did you go out with such a thing?”  
Her tone raised higher than her usual self as if addressing a scandalous matter. His clothes did remain a mystery for Mitsuru. And when he heard those words, he blinked twice. Finally understanding the question she posed, he proudly pointed at the mantle.  
     “You can find these around here?”  
He mentioned, then, how the color did remind him of Kirijo Mitsuru. And that it is usually said that the color red inspired courage, and will to fight. Therefore, it was thanks to it that he had never lost any challenge or fight till now, and returned safely home.  
     “So I chose this one. But it got a bit damaged.”  
He caressed the cape with affection… usually, the one calm look he used to show in Mitsuru’s presence. Had that mantle saved his life, instead of Mitsuru, during his trip?  
     “What is that?” -- she muttered to herself.  
     “Don’t you like it too, Mitsuru?”  
Mitsuru had no choice but to show him a bitter smile… he got it right.

   
Because it was always the same story with Akihiko Sanada. It was unconsciously impossible for her not to be drawn by the brilliant color, it had been unavoidable.

It had passed half a day since the first reunion. At least, Mitsuru’s companions headed for a relatively expensive hotel in near Yasoinaba. They needed to rest there, to then move to the nearest Shadow Operatives base the following morning.

__________________________  
  

Current time, it was midnight past ten.  
Mitsuru was in a suitable yet more narrow room compared to her bedroom at home. Wearing her favourite pieces of nightwear, she was sinking into the two-seater sofa. Naturally, at her side, there was Akihiko Sanada, relaxing on his own with a shirt on.  
It had been a fast-paced day. The chase for Labrys had led her to incredibly enter inside of a TV reality. Although the event was resolved somehow with the help of Fuuka Yamagishi and of the younger Persona Users…

 

_So many problems…_

The mastermind was on the loose. His purpose still not clear. Nothing seemed to make sense.  
She sighed deeply, a hand moving to the temple.  
From the looks of it, it seemed the Kirijo Group was involved in it somehow.  
  

 _I wonder… if it is a grudge. Someone from the laboratory?_  
  

She didn’t know. In the end, it remained a criminal. Furrowing her brows, she bit her lower lip.  
That was it. Her name was called once, and her shoulders felt surrounded by not a rough, but an assertive familiar force. Her grumpy expression seemed to have afflicted him too. While gently caressing her hair, the other hand patted her back. Her trail of thoughts had still to reach its end, though. Mitsuru opened her mouth… then stopped. It had been a while since she had been able to spend time alone together with Akihiko. She thought it meant nothing uncanny, in the end.

 

_In addition…_

 

After bathing, they should have gone to sleep. They both needed to rest their body and mind. Mitsuru thought the boy had surely hugged her with that kind of plan in mind.  
     “... Akihiko. It feels hot.”  
     “That’s because my muscle mass increased.”  
     “Not like that…”  
The nervous attitude was gradually fading away. In the arms of the beloved person. Mitsuru gently closed her eyes, entrusting her whole body to the warmth.

     “You have a nice smell… I’m almost eager to taste it.”  
What had her heart… and mind, been up for?  
     “Was your dinner bad?”  
The joke forced her to turn her head around and look at him.  
     “What are you talking about? Aren’t you whole of the finest quality?”  
Her cheek felt tickled by a silky curl. Her hair was still as soft as cat’s fur, like always. His arm wrapped the girl’s shoulders completely now, with its force slightly increasing. It just became a bit painful, but she did like it nonetheless. Mitsuru’s palm of one hand pressed against the skin of his arm.  
     “Akihiko…”  
Almost as within sleep and unconsciousness, the girl whispered his name.

A nostalgic fragrance. She remembered of the various scars engraved on his chest, on the way thicker muscles.

 

_\-- of course._

 

From comrade to lover -- how much had the training pushed him to the edges and limits? At least “protein” hadn’t been the first word he had said when home again. Maybe once it would have been seen as a sign that something was wrong with him, for it seemed a habit he would have never let go. Finally, a smile emerged from Mitsuru’s lips.

     “... I forgot to mention it. But welcome back, Akihiko.”  
     “Ah-- I’m home, Mitsuru.”

  

With a little smack, Akihiko’s lips touched Mitsuru’s nape. At the soft feeling, her whole body shivered.  
     “Haha-- I’m ticklish, Akihiko.”  
He did not answer, simply continuing to act. Lips moved from kissing the skin of her neck to almost suck on it. An odd sensation ran through her, forcing her to slightly distort her expression.  
     “Hey-- not where it can be seen!”  
     “Can’t you be nicer? I just wanted to leave a small mark on it.”

It would have innocently pointed out by Aigis to Mitsuru the following day. With an I-know-all smile and a question: _‘So you had fun yesterday?’_ together with other words she wouldn’t have remembered and would have never known how the other had even learned in the first place. On the other hand, there was the more emotive Labrys, that although mature… did probably knew less about those matters than the other. She would not have understood the words and asked ‘Why, what happened?’ with a tilt of her head.

  

     “Let’s go to bed, Mitsuru.”  
Without waiting for a reply, Akihiko got up from the seat and lifted up the girl’s body pretty easily. Perhaps another thing to thank the training he had endured for. His strength had surely increased. Maybe in the past he wouldn’t have been able to lift her up like that, or just having a hard time accomplishing that…

 

_He’s getting stronger…_

  

Hinting a smile, Mitsuru softly threw both her arms around his neck. Because of that emphasis and to finally adjusting to her weight, he too gave her a satisfactory smile.  
Her nightwear gently fluttered with each step he took. It was a long wisteria-colored dress, elegant in shape and manufacture. Mitsuru’s favourite, the one she always took with her when leaving home for multiple days because of work.

     “A shame. After a long time away, I’m eager too… I think.”  
After having been gently kissed on the cheek, she was left at the top of the queen-sized bed of the room. A squeak -- the sound of the bed creaking a bit. Akihiko tossed away his worn-off shirt then hovered over Mitsuru.

A shadow fell on his bare skin. Once she would have called it a fearless appearance, but now it was impossible not to notice.  
Her eyes stopped on his chest again. She could see a lot of scratches, more in number of what she had seen inside the TV.  
     “So many scars…”  
She murmured that, gently caressing one of them. A large wound, three white, wide scars. Those signs seemed having been made during a fight against a bear. They did appear pretty deep, the bleeding must have been severe back then.  
She wondered what kind of intense expression of pain had to have crossed his face in that moment. He seemed to laugh in front of danger.  
     “Ah, it’s nothing. They were caused by many things. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

     “I see, I see. Still, Akihiko, do not let me worry this much… you are unique. I have no other Akihiko and there is no substitute to yourself. Do you know it?”

     “I understand.”

Her hand stretched further, to touch of his cheek. His skin was pale, no signs of sunburn. Nothing had changed about it. Plus it felt really soft, for a man’s. Nonetheless, she did not know of men’s skins, except Akihiko’s, and so she could really not make serious comparisons.

 

_Ah…_

 

The hair on his chin had disappeared. Maybe, thinking she wouldn’t have liked it, he got rid of it right after the shower by shaving it.

     “Have you been alone till now, Mitsuru?”  
Mitsuru’s lips closed shut. The answer was a **‘no’** because the true one was **‘yes’**. Eyes moved wobbly. Mitsuru’s crimson hair waved with the unhurried movement.  
     “It has been my fault… Mitsuru.”  
He _seemed_ to be taking all the blame. How many other times would he have just rushed to conclusions like those?

 

_I bet you don’t know a thing…_

 

A large palm stretched out to move a lock of hair from her face. Lips moved closer to the ear, and he whispered her name again. The sigh and air caressed her cheek.  
Vision was blurred, emotions hoarse.  
     “I wanted to see you again so much.”  
His thought was pure. As well as his words overflowing the heart.  
As ripples spreading from the surface of an otherwise calm lake, his affection fills her whole body of devotion. It feels gentle, welcoming and warm. Not only the body, but the soul as well.  
She nodded once. Bud-like lips curving.  
     “I couldn’t wait to see you too, Akihiko.”

Both their bodies and lips overlapped. Sharing feelings, and sharing heat.  
Of the two sensations, of love and of to be loved, they bodies felt filled.

Overlapping bodies like that, she could return to just be ‘ _Mitsuru_ ’, instead of ‘ _Kirijo_ _Mitsuru_ ’. She could only think of Akihiko, no other matters in mind. She could love.  
That was… all she wanted at the moment.

Usually ‘ _Kirijo_ _Mitsuru_ ’ had no time or chance to relax, and in those times she couldn’t think of him at all.

 

_But that is the life I chose… I have no regrets…_

 

Some would have thought she was pretty unfortunate, one living Mitsuru’s life. Some would have mercilessly said it was a life poor of emotions.

 

_It is never like that…!_

 

Everyone had their own way to measure and shape things.  
Because each person recognised and had a different way and shape of happiness, Mitsuru thought it was impossible for her to define one’s happiness and their way to measure it. And vice versa.

 

_Plus…_

 

As a white fish, her hand lifted to return touching Akihiko’s cheek. Gently stroking it, cherish him. His eyes narrowed and the boy entrusted himself to the affection and love Mitsuru was giving him.

Here.

She had Akihiko. Whenever something did come up, he would have rushed to her, supported her. She loved it more than anything else, maybe more than herself. Of that beloved, dear person she adored.

 

_So I can… I can keep moving forward. The reason I don’t look back anymore…_

 

A smile rose on Mitsuru’s lips.  
Yes, for it was also thanks to Akihiko that she could return to be ‘Kirijo Mitsuru’, to continue reigning as the rightful Empress.

 

_Thank you…_

 

Akihiko of course had his own ideas about Mitsuru. He also used to say Mitsuru was a very important person to him.

Mitsuru thought it resembled a bird learning how to fly.  
If only one was present, it couldn’t have danced into the sky. With two, the two people, it could have finally started to fly free. For the first time. Such the unique bond. The one people did usually envy so much. They had never agreed to find a word to describe it, but they knew it had never changed throughout the years. Naturally, they would have preferred the company of each other to anyone else.

 

_I am… I am happy._

 

While gently breaking the kiss, that was all Mitsuru could think about. With feeling reached to her heart.

     “Mitsuru… I love--”  
     “Akihiko… I love you too.”

As soon as lips touched again, it all changed to something deeper. She could feel his tongue slipping past her thin, slightly open lips.  
     “Hm--”  
Her arms were still around his neck, gently pressing him closer. For she wanted more. As if she had courageously asked him for more tongue.  
Meanwhile, he was as light and delicate as a feather, with a finger travelling gently on the girl’s skin. From the cheeks, neck, clavicle, chest and waist line. He then gently stroked there, as to make sure of something.  
Heart felt way lighter. A sigh escaped Mitsuru’s lips.  
Thoughts gradually all faded away. And a sweet numbness ran through her whole body.

     “Mitsuru…”  
He called.  
     “Akihiko…”  
She answered.

Akihiko’s wet lips seemed glossy. Both their eyes were for a moment focused on each other’s mouth. Then, sounds of clothes. A gentle creaking of the bed. An obscene sound that resembled water echoed directly to the brain.  
She thought of the saliva exchanged and spilt from their mouths. A sign of a boundary, of maybe not be the same old one anymore.  
     “Oh--”  
The whole vision becomes milky white. Her body trembled with pleasure.  
She couldn’t think of anything anymore.

In practice, Mitsuru was at Akihiko’s complete mercy, while exploiting the innermost parts of her body. She accepted all the waves of pleasure. Painful but comfortable at the same time. She was having some struggles breathing.  
And she could not repress her own voice. No way to make it. Because all the reasons to do it had been already blown off.  
There was one thing she wanted. And it was him.

     “Mitsuru…”  
     “Aki-hiko…”

As if her name had been called again, they both drowned in love.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Discreet lighting was illuminating the two people’s bodies.  
As if melting together, they were close, sighing warmly and sweetly in numbness. Mitsuru kept only her lower half under the sheets, while assuming a prone position.  
Maybe still tired while reverberating what had just happened. While gently scratching his head, he looked at her. Crimson hair were falling on her back. Her breath still a bit trimmed.  
… he thought she was as beautiful as ever.  
And not only for the visage. Each gesture she might have acted out would have appeared extremely elegant. From writing to touching her own hair, even a single movement of her finger would have enchanted people, unwillingly. As expected of the only daughter of the Kirijo family. He could have imagined all that be severely taught her as a child, he thought that when looking at her profile.

 

_Anyway…_

 

He was glad there were no scratches on that beautiful skin.  
Because of work, she lived side-by-side with danger. Also, due to her stubborn nature, she wouldn’t have hesitated to fight at the forefront.  
He was familiar with her personality and her strength. Although she did certainly like to fight, she should have started to understand better when the risk to take was too high to be ignored for the mere sake of ambitions.

 

 _I have to tell_ Aigis _…_

 

For her it was still a secret, what he had asked Aigis one day.  
     ‘I want you to protect Mitsuru, if something comes up and I’m not there to help...’  
The iron girl did nod at him, with a gentle smile.  
     ‘I will protect Mitsuru-san no matter what, Akihiko-san.’  
So unless something extraordinarily dangerous was going on, he knew serious dangers wouldn’t have reached her… but that didn’t prevent him from growing worried.

 

_Actually, I wished I stayed by her side…_

 

Akihiko scooped his hair from his forehead, slackness still not leaving his body.

  

 _Shadow Operatives…_  
The secret, professional group of people fighting Shadows. He did felt a sense of belonging to the squad. Yet it was overwhelmingly insufficient.  
Shadows incidents wouldn’t have ceased anytime soon. On the contrary, recently they were only increasing in number.  
He had though -- how impossible it was to protect Mitsuru with such an half-assed power. What do do? The answer was one. Akihiko had chosen to train with no rest or hesitation. He took a day off university, then many others. One after another, then he left for the world.

The news had amazed Mitsuru, but there was no other way to be in peace with himself. For he wanted more power to protect her. In fact, he had thought it would have been the best method and opportunity. Danger had trained both body and mind.  
Some days, he had thought finding also a way to increase height would have worked perfectly for him, but he needed a break too.

Softly, he grabbed a curl of her hair, playing with it. After having twisted it around one finger, he let go.

     “... Mitsuru. Do you feel happy?”  
She didn’t say anything of what she thought at first. A smile spread on her face, as she slowly turned it to face him.  
     “Of course. I have someone that supports me and that is now close to me again, so why would I feel unhappy?”

   

Her eyes were fixed on his with determination, something that had never changed. As two rubies. He did always like those eyes. Now it is a shame… to see them so little times.  
A lonely sad empress. A beautiful ice rose.

_‘I have someone that supports me and that is now close to me again, so why would I feel unhappy?’_

Her voice had an heartfelt note. One could have also noticed it simply by looking at her expression. It was clear she was not lying.  
She was definitely feeling happy right now.

 

_So why does my chest feel so tight now?_

 

In the foreseeable future, Mitsuru would have kept living bound to the Kirijo Group.  
With the empress mask to hide her face, the secret of her father’s will tight against her chest, only going to powder herself and dress nicely for the mission of the family’s atonement.  
… but if she laughed, that did mean she was happy, right?  
There is only one thing I can do.

  

_To protect that smile, so that her happiness won't disappear._

  

Her body moved slightly, she got on her side looking at him. Her soft limbs reaching for his.  
The body of ‘Kirijo Mitsuru’ who was also dignified by beautiful clothes, was as beautiful as ever. It seemed that if one were to apply too much strength on the waist, it would have eventually broken.

 

_She takes care of her body._

 

Maybe she did appear thinner since their last meeting. It seemed a pointless thing and for a moment, he thought that maybe there were people forcing her to shape her body that way, at home. Just because she said she was alright, it didn’t mean it was the truth.

     “Hey, here, Akihiko.”

Almost if obediently obeying some sort of silent order, Mitsuru embraced him, almost falling into his arms. Warm and soft, comfortable and with breaths in sync.  
     “Mitsuru.”  
He softly pressed a kiss on her lips, with palms caressing the cheeks. Just like it had happened before when tasting it so many times, her arms locked behind his back. Her hands, slightly sweaty, stroking delicately his back. A dear bound. There, exchanging kisses as if just invited to do so. Touch had gone from light to deep, sparkling warmth in the core of minds and bodies.  
     “Haha…”

It seemed like breathing through the nose would have made his mind going numb. And also heart racing, desire rising up once more. Managing to avoid it all somehow, he put his lips to her hear.  
Because Akihiko had told her he loved her many times already, but something felt more urgent that she did to understand.

     “I’ll stay by your side forever, please rest assured about it. I will protect you, for your happiness.”  
     “Huh!?”

Her fluffy cheeks became red all of a sudden. Her red eyes captured Akihiko again and her upper body raised from his. Pupils moved with hurry in all directions… their gazes did meet, because of it, multiple times.  
     “What’s wrong, Mitsuru?”  
Akihiko smirked at her, when she was evidently taken astray.  
In a moment, her whole face did appear red. Finally, she must have understood the meaning of his words. He could feel his ears heating up too, when Mitsuru hid her face. And to do so, she decided to bury it in Akihiko’s chest.

 

_………_

 

The reaction was pretty cute, it made him relax his expression.  
Trying not to hurt her, when a laughter came, he tried to not mobilise the abdominal muscles as much as he could.

 

_You know I’m embarrassed as well, Mitsuru--_

 

     “Oh, I see.”  
He laughed it all out, conscious of what was happening.  
Thinking about it, it had never expressed that idea with words till now - to her. His actions though had always made it obvious.

 

_I did the right thing…_

  

He patted gently at her back, waiting for her to calm down.  
Maybe one day in the past, she wouldn’t have shyly backed down like that. There was no way to tell now or to leave things unsaid.  
Peeping over, he noticed the redness of her cheeks was not fading away of one bit. Her lips were slightly sulking, as if she was pouting like a child. It was so unusual for her to look that way.

     “Why did you say that so suddenly… do you understand what it means? Well then… you… if I…”  

He wondered if he had pronounced those words as if they were for a proposal.  
Mitsuru silently did shut down her eyes. The long eyelashes slightly shivering.

  

_It’s nothing like--_

  

He did not mind taking it all so.  
He lifted her beautiful hand, bringing it to his lips. Of course, the left hand, ring finger. Even the insensitive, naive Mitsuru did understand that.  
Nothing had been planned, especially not a ring. But she had thin and pale fingers. He was sure any ring would have looked good on it.  
     “These can be the words of my vow, you don’t like it?”  
Her shoulder bounced. As if throbbing, she got up again to stare at his eyes. He waited for her to say something to him, with still the ring finger not too far away from his lips still. She looked like talking, but with no words coming out.

How long had it passed? Finally a change was noticeable on her visage. The lips would fully move and open now.  
     “I am not complaining… I am happy.”  
She smiled dearly, looking relieved from the bottom of her heart. Following suit, he too did smile at her. They hugged, tightly. He embraced her, his arms now around her back as if to cover and shield her body from something.  
… in truth, it was his wish to see her smile like that more often.  
To make her enjoy life with no empress masks to hide her face.  
That was his only wish.

 

He smiled because she did look happy, and it needed not to be such a rare event. She had the right to feel happy too.

From the youngest of ages, she had sacrificed all she had for her father. He had known from her various experiments had been performed on her, as a subject for a research about Persona. How hard had it been?  
There must have been many children there crying for pain at all hours of the day. But she wouldn’t have screamed or lamented, silently enduring it all for various time.  
Persona. Dark Hour. Her father’s death. The end of the world.  
That year alone had been full of so many trials for her.  
Although she had now chosen by herself to atone all her family’s sins it was hard to be bound to such a legacy. She was doing it for her father, still.  
So proud and noble. Yet so weak too.

There was no chance to change the past. Anyway she wouldn’t have listened to reasons. And he probably wouldn’t have done the same too.  
She should have let him help her carry a part of the burden, still. If he was to say that to her, he knew she would have promptly shaken her head. He didn’t know how to say it yet. It was sad she did still not accept any help for that matter.  
She would have just continued carrying said burden alone, not relying on anyone around her. Until legs would have ceased to support her and finger would have all stopped moving. With no tears, down all the road awaiting for her. An apparently endless road.  
For atonement. For her father.  
But still, she did smile at him.

 

_Yet…_

 

Akihiko just wanted for her to say goodbye to those sad days.  
That moment had been as sweet as hurried though. There would have been more appropriate days to talk about it. Plus, they were there to fight Shadows with so many incidents plaguing the country. And a new problem had just emerged.  
But some other day in the future…? Sure.

He touched her cheek again, while her eyes were slowly narrowing with each passing second. A sign of tiredness he could recognise. The pupil was dark, the eyelids gently closing. Both facing the other, laying on their sides, their noses did almost touch. Their sighs intertwined.  
     “Mitsuru… I love you.”  
     “I love you too… Akihiko.”

    
He dropped another last, yet meaningful kiss on her lips, before she silently dozed off in front of him.  
He was sure to make her try to laugh like that every single day, to make her happier. Yes, he had swore that inside his head.


End file.
